Post by Cinder on Sept 11, 2008 15:29:44 GMT -5
Shadowpaw walked with swift, nervous steps, hoping that if he looked like he was going somewhere in a hurry no one would notice that he had no idea where he was. What had begun as looking for herbs in StormClan territory had turned into wandering along the river, thinking sadly.
Well, you mousebrain, why don't you just turn around and follow the river in the other direction? At worst you'll end up in EmberClan or ShoreClan territory, and I doubt they'll attack a medicine cat apprentice anyway.
Though he knew that this was obviously the best idea, somehow he couldn't find the heart to turn around and walk back towards his Clan. He took another few steps away down the river, but there was a sharp contrast between the faltering steps and his decisive stride of a few moments before.
What have I got to go back to, anyway? To sit in a den and tend egotistical warriors until my fur turns grey?
What about Crystalpool? his subconscious countered. You won't abandon her.
The young tabby's face twisted in pain. She spends all her time with Adderfang now, and barely even looks at me! More than anything else, that perceived betrayal hurt.
And the other medicine cat apprentices hate me. Somehow, I don't blame them.
With a big sigh for such a small cat, Shadowpaw sat down at the bank of the river. "What will I see if I look in the water?" he meowed aloud. "A ghost, a nothing, what everyone else sees me as?" For a moment he allowed his mind to contemplate the shiny scarlet berries tucked in one of the far shelves in the medicine cat den, where no one could find them easily.
But he rolled his eyes, disgusted with himself, and forced himself to think of other things. But before he could stop it, a single phrase whispered out of his mouth.
"Oh, StarClan, what do I do?"
Well, you mousebrain, why don't you just turn around and follow the river in the other direction? At worst you'll end up in EmberClan or ShoreClan territory, and I doubt they'll attack a medicine cat apprentice anyway.
Though he knew that this was obviously the best idea, somehow he couldn't find the heart to turn around and walk back towards his Clan. He took another few steps away down the river, but there was a sharp contrast between the faltering steps and his decisive stride of a few moments before.
What have I got to go back to, anyway? To sit in a den and tend egotistical warriors until my fur turns grey?
What about Crystalpool? his subconscious countered. You won't abandon her.
The young tabby's face twisted in pain. She spends all her time with Adderfang now, and barely even looks at me! More than anything else, that perceived betrayal hurt.
And the other medicine cat apprentices hate me. Somehow, I don't blame them.
With a big sigh for such a small cat, Shadowpaw sat down at the bank of the river. "What will I see if I look in the water?" he meowed aloud. "A ghost, a nothing, what everyone else sees me as?" For a moment he allowed his mind to contemplate the shiny scarlet berries tucked in one of the far shelves in the medicine cat den, where no one could find them easily.
But he rolled his eyes, disgusted with himself, and forced himself to think of other things. But before he could stop it, a single phrase whispered out of his mouth.
"Oh, StarClan, what do I do?"